Western culture today is toxic. It is especially toxic to healthy marriages. Media has formed young people to feel like the Sun of their solar system. We see this all of the time. When you speak to someone about their relationship problems, there is never any self-assessment but only finger-pointing. The other person has always done something wrong or is never doing the right thing. Instead of allowing the other person to be who God has created them to be, we want to change them into us. This is idolatry at its worst.

See, you may act like something is in the other person’s best interest, but is that where your heart is. For example, being active and going to the gym is a good thing. Asking that person to join you is a beautiful thing and something that should be shared. But, if your true motives are to create another version of yourself, you are committing the sin of pride. This is idolatry or self-worship. God created this person to be unique, you are creating a false image.

“For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God.”

2 Timothy 3:2-4 NLT

Sometimes in prayer, we find ourselves praying to change the other person. However, we should be asking God to change our own heart. We want immediate answers, and we want them our way. We trick ourselves into believing we want what is best for our spouse, but truly we want what we believe is best. What we want and what God wants can be entirely different.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.”

Proverb 3:5-6 NLT

Going forward, let’s celebrate the differences between ourselves and our partners. There is a reason that God brought this person into your life; cherish every moment and learn to love the different way that God weaves each one of us. This will be beneficial to our relationships with each other and more importantly, our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Remember this verse about how amazing you and your partner are, no matter how different you are.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

Psalms 139:13-14 NLT

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